She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
my poor anus
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
