i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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