yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
