Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
