One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
