he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
