I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
