we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
