Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
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DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
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I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize