You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
