I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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