Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize