Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
