As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the puke drawer
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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