just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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