I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
