I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
