I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
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I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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