you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
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making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
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I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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