woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
