i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize