If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I want to be your penis for a week.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
