no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
