btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
