I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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