Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
