i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
third nipple confirmed
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
