you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
