I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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