Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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