he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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