Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
