I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
