did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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