Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize