Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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