you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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