Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
