so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
