he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser