Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
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You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
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I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.