I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
fuck your aforementioned shoe
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.