woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.