I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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