the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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