Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize