So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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