i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
