You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i wish my penis had a tongue
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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