I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
