Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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