Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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