Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize