He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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