i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
