the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
