They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
