Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
