it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
