I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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